You know, the older I get the more I learn. I always had a passion for many things. I loved sports. I loved my immediate family — most of the time. And I loved God.
But outside of my family, I never really learned how to love another human being. I always kept others at a distance. When you start dating someone and it feels like you have butterflies in your stomach, that’s a neat feeling. You think it could be love, or turn into love, but I would shut down.
Maybe it was because my father was not affectionate. He taught me how to be a man and shake hands firmly, but his relationship with my mother was fairly distant. Growing up, my family was very tight with each other, but we did not show affection. And my dad was such a hard worker and a great provider that he was barely around.
I had girlfriends, finances and I’m on my second marriage. But until I met my second wife, Giovanna, I did not learn how to express love. Giovanna took it upon herself to teach me. I didn’t even know I could do it. Yes! A woman 18 years younger than me taught me the most important trait…Love. She taught me how to love our kids and what love should be between a man and his wife. I realize now, in my late 40s, that the most important person in my life is my spouse. Giovanna taught me that if you don’t make your spouse #1, the whole entire family can cave in. When you get married, it’s a very sacred thing. It’s the bond that should never come unglued. And we all should plan to teach our children that. If I had to choose between my kids and my wife, I’d have a very difficult time with it. But I know that choosing my wife is not only right, but infectious (my kids will see that and understand how important marriage is).
At this point in my life, I finally have been able to get my shit together. And I’m also happier than I ever dreamed I’d be. And the reason is because I learned to love, and trust, and believe in someone else. God put us here to love others. It’s the most important gift there is. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it hurts… but it’s absolutely worth it. So if you don’t know how to love someone else, you have nothing…even if you’re rich and famous. Life is all about spending time with the ones you love. If you have love, your life will have so much more meaning. It does for me. It’s true.