Forgiveness is hard.
I’ve learned throughout the years how to forgive, not just others, but myself as well. I’ve had people hurt me physically, psychologically, and financially…..and I’m not talking about pennies, I’m talking about millions.
This financial hurt was the hardest lesson that I had to learn about forgiveness, and required more strength than just about anything I had ever done, including winning a gold medal. Someone that I trusted wronged me and I began to hate myself for being so stupid to believe in this person. This hate affected my heart, my will, my health, and my actions. My anger towards that person and myself caused me to lash out at other people that I truly cared about, knowing that it wasn’t their fault. It consumed me, eating up all of my energy, and I started to drink excessively.
I hated this person, I hated the world, and ultimately I hated myself. Hate! Hate! That was the problem. I didn’t realize that hating someone would only hurt ME and those that I loved, not the person that my hate was directed towards, as much as I wanted it to. It affected everything I did or said…it consumed me…it took over my life. What did I do??? I got on my knees and prayed to my Savior, My LORD. I prayed to love again, I prayed to not have any resentment toward anyone, I prayed for the strength to FORGIVE. It was difficult to do but when I finally forgave, everything became more clear. My whole world changed. I started feeling good about myself and my relationships. I found passion in my life with others and in my career. No more alcohol or drugs. My health started to improve drastically in every aspect. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I became a child of GOD and it felt so good. I opened my mind, my heart and my spirit. Love was now my top priority. Love for my wife, kids, family, friends and fans.
I’m not saying that I love the person that wronged me, I just no longer hate him. Is the person that wronged me still a scumbag? Yes, but I no longer dwell on it. I have forgiven and I am now set free of those chains that tied me down. I’m more positive about life and everything that goes with it. I feel “good” and I thank the good LORD for giving me the ability to forgive.
It’s amazing how I can look at things in a more positive way now and I know that my children see that about me. They no longer see an angry, resentful man that hated others, including himself. They see their father who loves all things. My life has more meaning and my kids now have a father that I hope is a role model, all due to forgiving one particular human being. I pray that my kids will also understand the power of forgiveness. It’s not easy to do, but it truly helps you appreciate more in your life when you fixate on the good and not the bad.
So, if you’re struggling in your life with anger and hatred against someone because you’ve been wronged, and it has caused you to become an irrational, spiteful, and hateful person, know that you CAN CHANGE IT! It won’t be easy, but for your own benefit, pray to your GOD and ask “how do I forgive?”. Then do it…. FORGIVE. Forgive…even if it’s YOU that you need to forgive. It will be the best thing that you’ve ever done. Your life will turn around, your life will have meaning and purpose, and…LOVE. Remember this, if you don’t love, you don’t live. And that my friend, is true!!!
